Linor's Page of Wonder Thoughts

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Light Bulb's and thoughts...

I came home yesterday, and turned on the main light. It immediately flickered and died. this is how my story starts...

You would think that after a decade of living on my own and figuring how to change a lightbulb, doing it again in London would be easy. Nope.

First order of business was to turn on the lights in the bathroom and kitchen. And since i was in the kitchen, i turned on the heater and the hot water kettle...

While the kettle was heating up, I proceeded with stage 1 of operation Lightbulb Change. Step 1: remove existing lightbulb. If I stand on tip-toes I can reach the lightbulb and turn it slightly. However, this does not help with getting the bulb free.

So I looked for something that would boost me up... I stood on a hard cover book.

It seems that the author was not especially wordy, as it didn;t help much.

then i pulled out the wooden cutting boards from the kitchen and stacked that as well... I can still reach and slightly turn, but not more than that. It was obvious i would need to reach the top of the lightbulb hub.

I tried standing on a chair, but the chairs in my place are folding Ikea wooden chairs, dangerous.

So I pushed the bed into the middle of the room. and with some twisting and weird angles was able to REMOVE the lightbulb.

Then I poured the hot water into the pot and put pasta and salt into the pot. I also put on my coat and walked out with a lightbulb to the corner grocers, showing him my lightbulb. A lightbulb costs 0.60, so i bought Apple Juice as well. the strange thing is, the lightbulb did not have the screw spiral thing at the its tip, but rather two Frankenstien bolts on either side of its tip. It made little sense to me.

I confirmed that the bulb i was buying was correct shape and form.

I returned to the apartment, took off my shoes, stood on the bed, which was still in the middle of the room and as soon as I put the light in the socket, there was a loud pop and then the flat was thrown into complete darkness.

Good thing i went to a blind resturant and knew how to handle complete darkness.

I went to the kitchen and turned off the gas under the pasta. I then walked back to the entrance hall and with the light from the stairwell noted that the fuse box is much much higher than the light fixture, and once again i am back in a situation where books, wood boards and beds are involved. However, there was NO way to stick a bed in the hallway. So I ended up using a broom stick (i have the stick, just not the broom), and flicked the switch back on.

I heated up sauce for the pasta, poured and stirred, added some cheddar cheese and ate over the sink. see, it's the official bachleor cuisine, a pot over the sink.

I ate only a little bit, before putting on my coat and this time i bought two lightbulbs, and no juice. Murphy's law would make one of them redundant or i would have a backup-bulb.

I returned to the room and stood on the bed and noticed that one of the lightbulb dropped onto the floor, so i used the other one. and this is where things became really really tricky! i started thinking i need to call my landlord to explain how to change a light bulb, and maybe I should call assi for moral support or one of my sister engineers for thier skills For a good 5 minutes, I was standing on the bed and even though I put the bulb in place, it wouldn't stay there. I noticed that it wiggled left and right, and that in certain areas it would sink in, but it turning it afterwards wouldn't keep it in place. There is no screwing-in-a-lightbulb deal here... it was more use-the-power-of-the-force, or maybe magnets or something. But you wouldn't use magnets with electricity, right? that's dangerous. Of course, I kept trying to remember whether wood conducts electricty or not? if I am electrified would the bed insulate me? socks are not electricity proof? or are they if they have stripes on them? so after much fustration.

I found out that I needed to stand on the tip of my toes on the bed and PUSH the lightbulb IN and then turn.How many Linors does it take to change a light bulb?

and it finally stuck in place. and then i turned on the light and nothing bad happened. the room was filled with light.

so to answer the question of "how many linor's does it take to change a light bulb?" 1, but you would need 3 light bulbs, a book, a cutting board and a broom, and all the furniture would be rearranged and at least three people would be called forth for moral support. I don't think that the pot of pasta really helped in the process, but at least it was there for the ambiance.